Saturday, August 02, 2008

Abandonment Issues, definition of Child Abuse

Abuse.

Child Abuse.

Vague all encompassing term... means many things to many people.

In the Family Systems Theory of Codependent behavior, Child abuse is loosely defined as any parenting that produces abandonment.

This is why there are rich kids that become addicts, this is why some kids join gangs.

What constitutes abuse?

What regulatory agency is there that determine what is and what isn't "Abuse"/

There isn't one, and if there was, it would:
1 be a dismal failure
2 be totalitarian (nazi/ communist/ Jim Jones-ish)
3 be the actual 'Brave New World' that Auldous Huxley warned us of.

American Society, (with it's Victorian values) in the 50's tried to regulate what it thought society should be and do. That's what got us the turbulent 1960's!

Basically your parents abused you.

They didn't actually mean to, they parented you (probably) they way they were parented.

The abandonment was built init was unconscious, your abandonment was part of your parent's global belief system.

A Global Belief System is your paradigm, it's the fish bowl to the fish, you have one, you can't NOT have one.

more coming...

Thursday, July 31, 2008

So you think your Conscious mind is in control huh?

Crack Cocaine Addiction Recovery www.cocaineregrets.com



So you think your conscious mind is in control huh?


Your conscious mind can: out vote your subconscious... but it's NOT the dominant part of your behavior.

Your conscious mind can only hold (maximum) up to 9 Chunks of information at a time.
7 +/- 2 bits of info.

Do you really think about all the hundreds of individual actions required just to get up off your chair and walk over to a light switch and turn that switch?

Up till now you thought (I mean you really believed) that the voice in the back of your head was you...

It's not.

What you ARE is a 'space for events to occur in'

Don't agree that we're all schizophrenic?

We all have at least two personalitys, don't believe that?

sit on a bench, at a bus stop... what you're willing to do or not do is one self.

Now let someone else sit at that same bench, waiting for the same bus... all of a sudden your guard goes up, what you're will to let that perfect stranger see about you is in your awareness.

You now have to monitor what you WANT the public to see about you, a moment ago you might have picked your nose, or scratched your crotch

more comeing

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

1989 Personal Power tape set... this is the best idea in there!

Somewhere in the middle of the 1989 thirty day audio program of self help by Tony Robbins entitled: Personal Power, there lurked this idea:

Global Beliefs, unconscious belief system that we adopted without being aware of it... that absolutely determine what you can and cannot do.

Global Beliefs are characterized by the following statements:

Life Is.... ___ (fill in the blanks)

People are... ____ (fill in the blanks)


Global Beliefs are the paradigm we live in.

more coming...
David Bruce Jr.
I'm not a philosopher but I did stay at a holiday inn last night.
http://vicitmbehavior.blogspot.com
Our Ego & how it gets us in trouble.
davidbrucejr@gmail.com

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

first post since my Dad died

I lost my domain names: victimbehavior.com and emotionalboundaries.com

Dad died of cancer in July, I went on a binge for several months...
Everything is as it should be now
- My ex wife is 400 miles away
- I live with my 2 youngest children
- we live in a 300k townhouse with hardwood floors and 4 bathrooms
- I'm having a real parenting relationship w/ my youngest daughter and
I'm lucky she even talks too me based on my screwing up from P.T.S.D. from
incest when I was between the ages of 5 and 10

more later

Sunday, October 26, 2003

long time no post... how it all turned out

Ok, the word is 'workaholism'

I've not been posting, I've not been working on my main website:
www.victimbehavior.com

NOTE- I lost the domain name www.victimbehavior.com it's now http://victimbehavior.blogspot.com

I've been working on paying back child support... and been guilty of back sliding into
love addiction/ dysfunctional unworkable relationships (with my ex)

The Super Shuttle (airport taxi in the form of a shared ride/ in a van) franchise
did not work out... at least not right now.

I did buy the van (it has a blown motor and I got it cheap)

I did get turned down for my appication to get what the State of Maryland calls a
'Public Service Commission passenger for hire' licence.


I've learned that if I appeal, I will probably get approved.

On another front, driving a tractor trailer is a blast.
it is so cool to go to work and have fun... I'd do it for free.
(I don't want my job to know that)

I've been working over 70 hours a week...earning roughly $4500/ $4800 a month
(before taxes) and paying out all of it in back child support and over due bills.

I shouldn't feel guilty...first things first!

More later

Thursday, July 24, 2003

Been working 80 hrs a week- makes it hard to update this blog

I just got my first tractior trailer job AND testing the waters driving a "Super Shuttle" van
on the week ends. Super Shuttle has franchises- they are owner operators and earn roughly
2000 a week...

this is probably workaholism...but
if it pans out I can hire drivers and after I get a few months experiance I'll be able to
drive a tractor trailer anywhere- anytime- at will...any time I want to pick up a quick
couple thousand dollars

more later

Friday, June 27, 2003

What did Tony Robbins do for me?

Answer to the question: what did tony robbins do for you?
----------
This question was posted to me in a message board, my response is below:

Immediate relief from self sabotage, we're talking 180 degree turnaround

============

What Tony has that I've not seen in other NLP stuff is his work on
values and beliefs
especially from a codependent/acoa point of view.

Global Beliefs:


Gross generalizations, usuallly grafted from your
parents or your environment- Often unconscious.

Decisions we made when we were young

Global Beliefs are different from regular beliefts
They are a catagory of beliefs such as:

'life is'
or
'people are'




those kinds of things we tend to think of as being
- 'set in stone'
- 'etched in concrete'


they are not

'whose decision is this?', I doubt if you consciously chose (that) limiting belief...
is it useful?



Almost everybody has heard of Tony Robbins. He's the big guy with the big teeth you've seen on infomercials all over the place.

Tony's work is primarily seen as being for the 'Success/Motivational Crowd'.
While that certainly is ONE appropriate use of Tony's version of NLP, it's ignoring the vast majority of the population that can benefit tremendously from his workshops on tape.

People from the 12 step/ codependency/ behavior modification crowd are the ones who would benefit the most from Tony's work.

There is a reason that most success coaching tape sets BEGIN with self image building.

FACING YOUR PERSONAL DEMONS!
Most of the success motivational crowd begin their counsel by FIRST exhorting the student of success to expand their self-image, self esteem, what they truly believe they are worthy of, in their heart of hearts.

Tony's work does much, much more than that. He effectively gets people to TAKE ACTION.

Reading the printed word is NOT ENOUGH, no matter how good the text is, if you read it and say to yourself:

"Gee that sure was interesting", or "Gee that's exactly what I need to do"

...and you go right back to doing the same thing, well...

Tony's workshops and exercises force you to FACE YOUR PERSONAL DEMONS; and, if you're not willing to, he tells you to "...give this tape to someone who will!"

He gives you real time, effective tools, an entire tool bag, multiple approaches that give you "more than one way to skin a cat".

The 12 step model of change (that's what it really is, ultimately, either a change in behavior, and/ or elimination of an addiction, leading up to a spiritual awakening)- that change can be multiplied exponentially and the length of time invested can be dramatically shortened by combining NLP.

With this course you will discover what your Limiting Beliefs are, even ones you thought were 'set in stone'

Many codependents , even when they become aware of self destructive behavior patterns, feel worse if they feel they cannot change their old belief systems.

Some shrug it off saying: "That's just the way I was raised"

Tony's tape set is in the form of workshops and daily exercises (a 30 day plan- each one starting out like weight training, each day a little more weight) that use the technology of NLP to create amazing changes that you never thought possible!